


Jim's Hair-Raising Day

by luckypixi



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Bone should check the box closer next time, Gen, Humour, Jackson the frog, Jim's pink hair, hair dye mishaps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-22
Updated: 2014-04-22
Packaged: 2018-01-20 10:23:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1507049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luckypixi/pseuds/luckypixi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Bones refuses to eat a frog, the indigenous species believe blonde hair is a sign of the devil and Jim will start reading labels on boxes more closely in the future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jim's Hair-Raising Day

**Author's Note:**

> No slash, written with the prompt; ' A character dyes their hair, but the action goes terribly wrong. During the story, a character makes a meal for themselves. The story must have a frog in it.'  
> Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it

‘I’m not eating that’  
‘C’mon, Bones! This is considered a rare delicacy planet-side.’  
‘I don’t care’ Bones eyed the large, pulsating purple frog on his desk with suspicion, ‘I’m not eating it.’  
‘It will be considered rude by the tribes-people if you do not.’ Spock countered, who motioned for Jim to continue. The Captain reached for his own frog, holding it gently by the middle.  
Bones watched with a sense of detached horror as the Jim dipped the frog in the vat of steaming liquid bubbling between them and put it in his mouth. He barely managed to hold back a wince as he heard the skull pop when Jim bit down.  
Bones turned to look at Spockwith a raised eyebrow, but the Vulcan was still watching the Captain.  
‘Again, Jim; I’m not eating it.’  
‘Bones, don’t make me order you.’ Jim leaned forwards and clapped Bones on the back. The Doctor sighed and looked back down at his frog. It looked back at him.  
‘I’d like to see you try’ Bones challenged Jim, before scooping up his frog and walking away from the table.  
‘Where are you going?’ Jim called as Bones walked out the room.  
‘I’m taking Jackson back to my quarters before Spock decides to go for an encore.’  
Jim laughed as he watched the door close behind his Doctor. ‘Jackson’ he repeated. ‘He called the frog Jackson’  
‘It is highly illogical to name a creature which is considered food stuff.’  
‘Oh, I don’t know; we used to rear pigs back in Iowa and I once named one Polly.’ Jim smiled at the memory. ‘She tasted good.’  
Spock shook his head and stood. ‘I do not understand it, Captain. I will return to my station.’  
Jim nodded and looked back down at the remaining frog. ‘Hmm…what shall I call you?’ he mused. He then took a furtive look round in case anyone was watching. Sighing, the Captain scooped up his frog and left the room.  
-x-

Jim walked through the door of the Chief Medical Officers quarters and sat dramatically on the bed.  
‘Come on in’ McCoy told him drily from where he was sat at his desk. Jackson the frog sat happily in a large see-through tank on the corner of the desk. He didn’t even look up. ‘Make yourself at home, pour yourself a drink’  
Jim smirked at his sarcastic Doctor and lay down on the bed, covering his eyes with his arm.  
Bones finally looked up. ‘Ok’ he sighed, setting down his PADD. ‘I’ll bite. What’s up?’  
‘They think blonde hair is the sign of the devil.’  
Bones blinked. ‘Say that again’  
Jim took his arm away to glare at the Doctor, ‘I said, the tribes-people planet-side think blonde hair is the sign of the devil.’  
‘Oh.’ Bones sat back in his chair thoughtfully. Jim sat back up and turned on the bed so he was directly opposite Bones. They stared at each other for a while.  
‘While I do enjoy staring into your beautiful baby-blues,’ said Bones without breaking eye-contact. ‘Is there a reason you’re here?’  
‘I don’t want to shave my hair off.’ Jim pouted and Bones smirked, getting up and walking over to the Captain.  
‘Who says you gotta shave it?’ Bones sat next to Jim and let Jim rest his head dramatically on his shoulder. ‘Why not dye it?’  
‘Spock says that shaving it would the ‘the logical action.’’ Jim made a face. ‘You’ve gotta have some hair-dye around this place somewhere.’ He looked at Bone’s hopefully.  
‘Sure I do, let me go find it…’ Bones bent down to look under the bed. ‘I’m sure I left it somewhere around here with my Klingon Bird of Prey and my Denobulon whiskey’  
‘Alright alright’ Jim reached down at pulled Bones back up. He watched the Doctor’s face as Bones froze, staring into space.  
‘You ok, Doc?’ Jim eyed him. ‘Bones?’  
‘I might know where to get some from?’  
‘Get what? Bones are you having a seizure?’  
‘What? No!’ Bone’s stood up abruptly. ‘Don’t move. I’ll be back in ten’  
Jim watched as Bones left the room. He turned to look around the room. ‘Guess it’s just you and me now, Jackson.’ He said as he lay back down.  
Jackson went back to sleep.  
-x-

‘I’m not coming out.’  
‘C’mon, kid. It said black on the box; maybe it’ll fade.’  
‘Fade? Fade!’  
Bones hastily retreated as Jim came storming out his bathroom. ‘Since when had fuchsia ever faded to black?’  
Jim did look magnificent. His hair was a bright shade of the brightest pink the doctor had ever seen.  
Bones struggled to contain his laughter. He pulled his face straighter when Jim glared at him. ‘I see what you mean,’ he put his hands on his hips. ‘It clashes terribly with your eyes.’  
‘Bones!’’ Jim couldn’t help the grin that slipped out as Bones snorted. ‘This is serious!’  
‘So you’ve got pink hair. Big deal! Wear a hat.’  
‘I don’t have a hat!’ Jim threw his hands into the air. ‘Besides, I’ve gotta be planet-side in two days. I can’t wear a hat on a diplomatic mission of peace.’  
‘Oh and turning up with lurid pink hair is better, is it?’ Bones sat heavily at his desk and rolled his eyes at Jackson.  
Jim sighed and sat back on the bed, craning his neck to look at himself in the small mirror fixed to the wall. ‘What idiot switched the boxes?’ he asked.  
Bones shrugged, picking his PADD up again. ‘I don’t know. But on the plus side-‘  
‘There’s a plus side to this?’  
Bones frowned at him. ‘On the plus side, if you can call it a plus, I think Jackson is pregnant.’  
‘Oh great’ sighed Jim sarcastically. ‘Mini-Jacksons, that’s all I need.’  
‘Oh for the love of-‘ Bones stood up and went over to his closet. After rummaging around for a while he returned with a faded Ol’ Miss baseball cap.  
‘Here! Here’s a hat, put it on your head.’  
Jim did as he was told.  
‘Now you can hardly tell the difference. Now, will you please leave?’  
Jim pouted.  
‘Don’t pout at me, mister. It makes you look about twelve.’  
‘But Bones!’  
‘Don’t ‘but Bones’ me!’ the Doctor steered the Captain towards the door. ‘Damn it, man, I’m a Doctor not a hairdresser!’  
Jim grabbed hold of the doorframe to stop himself falling out onto the floor. ‘This is insubordination!’ he yelled, catching the attention of passing Security Officer.  
Bones gave another hearty push and Jim found himself in the middle of the corridor.  
‘Are you alright, Captain?’ the Security Officer asked.  
‘He’s fine, just some minor contusions to his ego.’ Bones supplied.  
‘Hey!’ Jim pouted again; Bones just leaned on the doorframe, arms crossed. The Redshirt looked from one to the other.  
‘It’s fine’ Jim assured him, nodding as the officer walked away.  
‘See you later, Jim’ Bones shot a mock salute to his Captain and retreated back into his quarters.  
Jim stared at the closed door. Then gave it a kick.  
‘I hope that hurt your foot’ came Bone’s voice from within.  
Jim couldn’t help the smile at that tugged at his lips as he walked away.  
-x-

‘Captain, I assure you, this will no longer offend the indigenous species.’  
Jim was sure he could see a smile on his First Officers Face. Just a flicker. He pulled Bones’ hat further onto his head.  
‘I can’t go around with pink hair, Spock!’ he moaned, ‘I’m the Captain.’  
‘I fail to see how having brightly coloured hair affects your competence as Captain.’  
Jim put his head down on the table.  
There had been a horrible hush when he had walked into the Mess for dinner that evening; everyone had gone back to their conversations within seconds, of course. But Jim kept catching crew members sneaking a look at his hair, talking behind their hands and smiling.  
‘Perhaps you should shave it off’ Spock suggested, spooning up his soup.  
Jim shook his head and took that hat off to scratch his head. He was about to answer when Scotty walked up to the table; he hastily shoved the hat back on.  
‘Nice barnet, Captain!’ he grinned. Evidently Jim hadn’t been quick enough. ‘I like what you did to the colour scheme.’  
Jim ignored him and stood up, casting an eye around the room. ‘See ya later, Spock. Scotty.’ The two men nodded back at him and he left the Mess Hall, faces turning as he walked by.  
-x-

‘Wondered when you’d be back.’  
‘Just shut up and let me in.’  
Bones grinned as he walked back into his quarters, Jim trailing behind. Jim knew Bones had had a late shift today, therefore wouldn’t be at dinner with the rest of the crew; he was still dressed in his scrubs.  
Jim sniffed as he sat down on the sofa. ‘Mmmm, Bones. What’s cooking?’  
Bones often cooked for himself, sometimes for others. Depending on the circumstance; he was a Southern boy at heart.  
‘Beans and Greens’ Bones told him. ‘The old fashioned way.’  
Jim grinned. Bones didn’t take to replicated food.  
‘Enough for two?’ he asked. Bones rolled his eyes as he walked into the tiny kitchenette, stirring the pan of bubbling beans and vegetables.  
‘I guess I could stretch it out.’  
Jim stretched out on the sofa. ‘What am I gonna do?’ he asked, taking his hat off and running his hands through his lurid hair.  
‘I think you look…vivid…’Bones smirked. ‘…distinguished.’  
Jim gave him a look. He ducked behind a pillow as Bones pulled out his Padd.  
‘Come on, Jim! One picture! Joanna would love to see this’  
‘No!’ Jim tried to burrow into the sofa, but the Doctor grabbed his arm and pulled him out; he was stronger than he looked. ‘Bones! Stop!’ he yelled, grinning as he tried to grab the Padd out of his hands.  
‘Just one!’ Bones grinned, pinning Jim down, straddling him with his knees on the Captain’ forearms.  
Jim stuck out his tongue and let Bones take the picture, then pushed him off forcefully. Bones fell to the floor with a thump. He lay there without saying a word.  
‘Bones?’ Jim peered down at him. ‘You alright, man?’ It wouldn’t do if he killed his Chief Medical Officer.  
‘Just fine, Jimmo’ Jim winced; he hated that nickname. ‘Just deciding whether to give you my present or not.’  
‘If it’s one of Jackson’s babies, I don’t want it. Thanks all the same.’ Jim told him as he helped him up.  
‘No… but now you mention it…’  
Jim huffed as Bones got up and walked over to his desk. ‘After you pranced off like a princess, I went back down to the storeroom. And guess what I found…’  
He waggled a box at Jim, who eyed it. ‘What’s it this time? Green?’  
‘No, you ungrateful little-‘ Bones took a deep breath. ‘It’s black. I checked.’  
Jim perked up and went over. ‘Thanks, Bones.’ He said, taking the box.  
‘If it’ll stop you whining, you’re welcome.’  
Jim ran a hand through his hair. ‘Now it comes to it-‘ he mused.  
‘If you say you’re gonna keep it pink, I swear I’m gonna-!’  
‘Relax, Bones!’ laughed Jim. He emptied the container and gave Bones back the empty box. He walked over to the bathroom.  
‘Yell when dinner’s ready’ he called back to the Doctor. ‘I’m starving!’  
He laughed as he ducked the box Bones lobbed at his head.


End file.
